Mothers Recovery group nurtures mutual support, builds community

RED DEER — Mom Pam van Dongen will tell you unreservedly that surrounding herself with the right people is critical to her recovery journey.

It’s why she’s so grateful that her fiancé doesn’t use substances, why none of her friends are in active addiction — and it’s why she attends the Mothers Recovery group every Thursday.

“Meeting other moms in similar boats and having similar struggles, and just not feeling alone” helps her cope, van Dongen says.

As a partnership of Recovery Alberta and Family Services of Central Alberta, the Mothers Recovery group convenes weekly in Red Deer and offers free childcare, allowing the women to talk openly and focus on themselves.

Women from the Mothers Recovery group paint a bear they intend to donate to display in a postpartum space at Red Deer Regional Hospital Centre. The moms, in recovery, are getting the support they need from one another and want to give back to other moms with the gifted artwork. On the right, Pam van Dongen says discussions with other moms help her in her recovery.

Danielle Fredrickson, a mental health clinician for Recovery Alberta and Mothers Recovery group facilitator, says it’s about creating a safe space for women to discuss their parental role as they navigate life and recovery from substance abuse.

“It’s a come-as-you-are space, allowing women to seek support for what they may need that day. We discuss evidence-based information and the resources available — but really, it’s about peers discussing their lives and recovery, and offering non-judgmental feedback to support one another,” says Fredricks

She adds that van Dongen has come a long way, having made big changes in her life and progress in her recovery — and has grown into an integral and influential member of the group.

“She’s just so funny, warm and caring — she really wants to see the group thrive and be successful,” Fredrickson adds. “So, she’s there encouraging everybody to share, supporting and trying to create the community that she needed and that she knows other moms need too.”

As well as attending the group, van Dongen builds community by helping run a local play group and coordinating community association events. She takes part in another government support program with built-in accountability and consistently sees a counsellor one-on-one through Recovery Alberta — all to keep her recovery on track.

It’s a long way from where she started, immersed in the drug lifestyle with a partner and friends who also used.

She moved to Alberta from B.C. to distance herself from all of that — shortly after she found out she was pregnant.

She’s been clean for three years now.

“It feels good to be reliable, to come through for, and be there for people,” van Dongen says.

She’s there for her circle, just as they are there for her and others in recovery.

A network of agencies – including Recovery Alberta (counselling, Enhanced Services for Women, Move Your Mood), Family Services of Central Alberta (Mothers Recovery, Parent and Child Assistance Program), Alberta Health Services (EMBRACE program), the Red Deer & Area Maternal Mental Health Committee and others — are all working together to ensure families don’t fall through the cracks.

“I have more to be sober for today. I can’t take back the time I’ve lost, but moving forward I can show up for my family and friends and make a positive difference.”